“Whatever is Admirable” Ephesians 4:29-5:2

Do you remember when it was scandalous when Rhett Butler told Scarlett O’Hara that he really didn’t car where she went or what she did? He used a word that had never been heard on American cinema, and it was a game changer.

Still, what we now call a “mild swear word” is quaint to what we hear not just at the movies but across our entertainment. We hear words and phrases that no polite person would say in public. Maybe it’s because we don’t have polite people in our world anymore, but I don’t think that’s the problem.

The problem is we now live in a profane world. I’ve heard profanity used in a context where it really isn’t necessary at all, but it’s so embedded in the lives of the people around us that it’s just part of the daily conversation.

Sadly, it’s even crept into the church. No, we don’t hear four letter words coming out of pulpits or in our Sunday School classes, but we can hear it slip from the lips of our church members when they’re not being careful with what they say.

Profanity has become so much a part of our culture that we don’t even think about it most of the time.

Which brings us to Paul’s words to think about that which is admirable. How so? The idea of “admirable” is a hard to interpret word that Paul uses. The Amplified Bible interprets it as “kind and winsome and gracious” and one of my commentaries referred to it as words that are used toward God.

The gist of the term, then, is to use words that are pleasing to God, words that would be used in speaking with God.

Central Truth: That which is admirable is language pleasing to God.

Admirable words are:

Wholesome (29-31; cf. 4:25, 5:4)

There’s a lot involved in that word “wholesome.” For a better understanding, we should look at the context of the verses that follow and surround this verse.

As we read the verse, we learn that Paul considers wholesome talk to be that such words are “helpful for building others up according to their needs” and beneficial to the listener. He indicates such words are pleasing to the Holy Spirit. They are words that reflect a life that is in sync with God’s will and the Spirit’s guidance.

If we look at v. 35, Paul tells us we should use words that speak honestly and truthfully. That means not only should we honest in what we say, but we must be sure of what we are repeating. It’s not hard in our world to hear something that we want to share with others, but sometimes the sources we use are not accurate, either intentionally or unintentionally. Because we are called to live a life of truth, it is imperative that we speak truth as much as possible. Should we discover our words are inaccurate, it is then our duty to correct the words.

In Ephesians 5:4, Paul writes, “Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving.” The meaning is pretty clear here. Our words must be words that are pleasing to God. My rule of thumb has always been, if I wouldn’t say it in a pulpit, I shouldn’t say it outside the pulpit.

A word here about what exactly is “obscenity.” Someone once asked me why some words are wrong, when we use other words that mean the same thing. Words such as “darn,” “heck” and such are considered acceptable, even though we know the words they are representing. It’s like someone writing a story using a letter then some dashes to represent a word. Yes, they are not printing the word, but we all know what the word was that was written. So the same here. Should Christians use euphemisms?

The wholesome word is one that builds people up, that encourages and guides. It is a word that never drags us down, but always appeals to our higher spirit. It is a word built upon the core principles of kindness, compassion, forgiveness and thanksgiving . It is a word we would use in God’s presence. Remembering that God is always with us, then, it’s wise to use wholesome language.

Uplifting (32)

Contrasting the words Paul warns about, he instead encourages us to be people that lift others up. He centers it around our relationships with others, and reminds us that God is example of how to live.

We are to be kind. The idea of kindness is being courteous, of thinking of others, of doing for others. Little things matter in the world of kindness. One of the things I like to do when I go to the grocery store is look for a cart that someone didn’t return. I’ll use that cart as mine, or if it’s the wrong sized cart for my needs, I’ll take it up to the front and exchange it for one I want to use. How is that a kindness? Just because someone is paid to round up wayward carts doesn’t mean that that person wouldn’t appreciate not having to round up that particular cart.

Being kind can let others go ahead of us in the line. There are any number of ways we can be kind.

And our kindness should be coupled with compassion. Compassion is the ability to empathize with others, to put ourselves in their shoes and have an understanding of where they’re coming from. We don’t have to have had the experience of each person to have compassion for each person. And when we have compassion, then we are willing to help, willing to extend a hand, literally or figuratively.

And then there is forgiveness. We’ve talked about this area before. The vast majority of things people do that hurt us or hinder us are unintentional. Even if the hurt is intentional, God gives us the Spirit that enables us to walk away from the hurt. Jesus tells us three things about forgiveness. One, if we do something that needs to be forgiven, we need to take the initiative and seek forgiveness. Two, if someone does something that causes us harm, we owe it to them to address the issue. And, three, we are always to forgive. In the Sermon on the Mount, Jesus tells us, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (Matthew 6:14-15).

Forgiveness can be hard. Satan likes to remind us of the things that hurt us. Satan wants us to hold grudges, to hold on to the hurt. It’s hard to let go. But when Christ saved us, He allowed us to die to those feelings and those hurts. He enables us, through His Spirit living in us, to not only experience forgiveness but to exhibit forgiveness toward others.

The admirable thing is that which conveys an awareness of kindness, compassion and forgiveness, extending those to each person we meet.

Reflects Christ’s love (5:1-2)

If we are to say the words that are pleasing to God, if we are to live a life that is pleasing to God, then we are to follow Christ’s example.

To be an imitator of God, we need to realize some things the Bible teaches us. First, when we come to salvation through Christ, we are born again. That means, we die to the old way of looking at things and of doing things. Second, not only do we die to our old way, but we are reborn into Christ and become children of God. Third, when God saved us, He intended for Christ to live in and through us. That’s why we have the Spirit living in us.

So when Paul writes that we are to be imitators of God as dearly loved children and uses Christ as the example, he’s reminding us of this truth: Christ lives through us. We surrender ourselves to him as a living sacrifice, letting the Spirit transform us and bring us into God’s will.

We best reflect Christ’s love when we allow Him to live through us. We reflect Christ’s love when we trust Him to lead us. When we reflect that love, then we live a life that is admirable in God’s eyes.

Conclusion

We live in a profane world. We live in a world that seems to delight in tearing down.

God calls us to live outside the profane, to live holy. He calls us to build up, to lift up, to care. Our words must reflect that calling.