“When We Can’t Agree” – Genesis 13

When we hear the names Hatfield and McCoy, almost all of us immediately think of one of the most famous feuds in American history. We may not know much about it—when it happened, why it happened, where it happened—but we know that these two families had a feud that left its mark on our nation’s history.

Disagreements don’t always have to end in feuds, but there are times when a disagreement becomes so wide that it is best to walk away from each other, to agree to disagree and go our own separate ways. It’s true of all people, including followers of Jesus.

Jesus prayed for our unity (cf. John 17:20-23) and Paul appealed to the Corinthians to be of one mind and purpose (cf. 1 Corinthians 1:10-17). While we want to strive to be peacemakers and to fulfill our ministry of reconciliation, we can forgive each other and agree to part ways without holding a grudge or condemning them.

Abraham—called Abram in our text, but will be referred to as Abraham for familiarity—gives us an example of how to agree to disagree. Through Abraham, the Bible shows us how we can keep the unity of mind and purpose even when we agree to go our separate ways.

Background

The events of today’s passage takes place relatively early in the Bible’s record of Abraham. In Genesis 11, we are introduced to the family of Abraham, and in chapter 12 we read of God calling to Abraham. The call was to leave his country, his people and his father’s household and go where God leads him. Abraham did leave, taking only his wife, his possessions and servants and his nephew, Lot. Whether Lot tagged along or Abraham brought him is open to debate, but if Abraham did bring Lot with him, then it shows us that Abraham is a lot like many of us. We agree to follow Christ, but there are certain parts of our past that we hold onto, having to deal with them eventually in our walk with the Lord.

Abraham followed God’s leadership to the land of Canaan where God told him, “To your offspring I will give this land” (Genesis 12:7). Abraham built an altar to the Lord and called the place Bethel (House of God) and went on to live in the Negev, a desert region of the area.

While living there, a famine occurred. The Bible says that Abraham went to Egypt. It does not tell us whether Abraham was still following God’s direction in this move, and Abraham told a half-truth to Pharaoh out of fear for his life, but God did bless Abraham while he was in Egypt.

When our passage takes place, we quickly discover that God has blessed Abraham with livestock, silver and gold. We can’t say for sure that Lot had gone with Abraham to Egypt, but during this time, Lot had also increased in the number of livestock he had.

As a result of this growth in livestock and the limited amount or resources needed to provide for the large flocks, a dispute arose among Abraham and Lot and their herdsmen. How Abraham dealt with the conflict gives us a model of how living in faith can guide us in our decision to part ways with others because of disagreement.

Central Truth: When we trust in God, we can be peacemakers by agreeing to disagree.

Resolving disputes

1. The problem that arose (1-7)

So Abram went up from Egypt to the Negev, with his wife and everything he had, and Lot went with him. Abram had become very wealthy in livestock and in silver and gold. From the Negev he went from place to place until he came to Bethel, to the place between Bethel and Ai where he had first built an altar. There Abram called on the name of the Lord. Now Lot, who was moving about with Abram, also had flocks and herds and tents. But the land could not support them while they stayed together. And quarrelling arose between Abram’s herdsmen and the herdsmen of Lot. The Canaanites and Perezzites were also living in the land at that time.

If you know anything about footwear in the sporting world, then you have probably heard of Adidas and Puma. What most people don’t know is that the two companies were formed by two brothers who had a falling out while working together to build a sport shoe empire. The brothers founded the Dassler Brothers Sports Shoe Factory in 1924 in Germany. The company grew and prospered until the brothers had a breakdown in the relationship in part due to World War II and because of conflicts between the wives and brothers. As a result, the company was dissolved, with Adi Dassler creating Adidas and Rudolph Dassler creating Puma. Both shoe companies are doing well for themselves, with Adidas being the second largest sports shoe company in the world.

People grow and change as they grow, and sometimes we see things differently. For Abraham and Lot, the problem was their prosperity was creating conflict. In a desert region like the Middle East, resources are relatively scarce when it comes to feeding and watering flocks of animals. This created conflict between the two men as their herdsmen sought to provide for the health of their respective flocks.

Part of the conflict, though, also resulted in the different ways Abraham and Lot viewed life. One of my commentaries mentioned that Lot was a righteous man. That is, he tried to always do the right thing, the honorable thing. Abraham, though was a man of faith, seeking after God’s guidance and trusting in God to lead him in the right way. We see this difference in the way the two men responded to the problem that had arisen between them.

The conflict was not unnoticed by the other people living in the region. Abraham and Lot were surrounded by the people who had been living in the land before the two men came with their flocks. The Canaanites and Perizzites were aware not only of the conflict but also of the wealth held by the two men. It would be reasonable to see that the natives could see this conflict as an opportunity to rid themselves of the newcomers while also increasing their own wealth.

Into this turmoil, Abraham demonstrated how a man of faith in God can resolves a dispute that seems to have no easy resolution.

2. Be the bigger person (8-13)

So Abram said to Lot, “Let’s not have any quarrelling between you and me, or your herdsmen and mine, for we are brothers. Is not the whole land before you? Let’s part company. If you go to the left, I will go to the right; if you go to the right, I will go to the left.” Lot looked up and saw that the whole plain of the Jordan was well watered, like the garden of the Lord, like the land of Egypt toward Zoar. (This was before the Lord destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah.) So Lot chose for himself the whole plain of the Jordan and set out toward the east. The two men parted company. Abram lived in the land of Canaan, while Lot lived among the cities of the plain and pitched his tents near Sodom. Now the men of Sodom were wicked and were sinning greatly against the Lord.

When I started seminary in 1979, the Southern Baptist Convention was just beginning a dispute that would ultimately lead to the split of the convention with many churches leaving to create the Cooperative Baptist Fellowship. The conflict reached into our state, with many churches leaving the Baptist General Convention of Texas to create the Southern Baptist Convention of Texas. Sadly, no one on either side of the fight had the wisdom and faith of Abraham.

There really can be no question that Abraham is the greater of the two men. Abraham was the elder and Lot had followed Abraham, not the other way around. Under these circumstances, it would have been reasonable and easy for Abraham to tell his nephew that Lot had to leave and go find grazing land far away from him and his flocks. He could have told Lot that his flocks will have to wait until after Abraham’s flocks have been fully fed and waters. He could have also said to Lot, “I’ll pick which part of the land I want to live on and you can have the rest.”

Instead, Abraham sought to diffuse the situation while recognizing that it was time to part ways. Notice how he talked with Lot. The first thing Abraham wanted to do was stop the quarrelling. It was a threat to their relationship and to their safety. The quarrelling had to stop for these reasons and Abraham reminded Lot that they had more in common than they had dividing them: “for we are brothers.”

Having established the reason why Abraham wanted to settle the matter, he then demonstrated his faith in God by allowing Lot to make the choice of where the two men would live. If Lot chose the left, Abraham would choose the right, and vice versa. Abraham allowed Lot first choice. The magnanimity of Abraham arose because he knew that God would take care of him.

As a result, Lot, who was righteous but not a man of faith necessarily, took the obvious choice. He looked at the options before him and chose the one that seemed best in the eyes of the world. The land Lot chose was so lush that it seemed to be like the Garden of Eden. Like the Garden of Eden, though, there was a serpent in the land. Sodom was the main city of the area. Lot, being a righteous man, knew better than to settle in Sodom, but he pitched his tent near the city.

Abraham, trusting God to see him through the right place, settled in Canaan. The land was not as good, the resources not as plentiful, but Abraham believed God would continue to bless him.

3. God’s response to Abram (14-18)

The Lord said to Abram after Lot had parted from him, “Lift up your eyes from where you are and look north and south, east and west. All the land that you see I will give to you and your offspring forever. I will make your offspring like the dust of the earth, so that if anyone could count the dust, then your offspring could be counted. Go, walk through the length and breadth of the land, for I am giving it to you.” So Abram moved his tents and went to live near the great trees of Mamre at Hebron, where he built an altar to the Lord.

Stepping out in faith can be scary. We want to believe that what we have done is the right thing, but taking a step without knowing where it will lead us can be daunting.

Abraham had taken his steps of faith as God had led him. Now, he was taking a step of faith by letting Lot make the first choice. His step of faith paid off as God blessed Abraham.

When God had called Abraham to go to the new home, the only promise God made was that He would give the land to his offspring. Now God affirms that promise and expanded on it.

While Abraham’s faith wasn’t a blind faith necessarily, God told him to open his eyes and look all around him. All that Abraham could see, and more, was to be given to him for his faith. This gift of land would be to his offspring, the number of which would be too numerous to count.

God told Abraham to walk throughout the land. Walking through a piece of land was one way a person could claim ownership of land. Conquering armies would claim lands as they walked through. Abraham, like a conquering army, would do the same.

When Abraham returned from Egypt, he treated it as a pilgrimage, returning to the first altar he had built. Now, as Abraham has received God’s expanded promise, Abraham takes God at His word and settled down in the vicinity of Hebron. Hebron would become Abraham central base of operation while in the land, and it would be Sarah and Abraham’s final resting place.

Conclusion

People don’t always see eye-to-eye. There are times when the gulf between us proves to be too wide to be able to bridge. Such times can be a failure in God’s eyes, or it can be used as a means of expressing one’s faith in God. Abraham shows us the way to make it a step of faith. He did it by seeking as much reconciliation as he could while still recognizing that the time had come to part ways. Every one of Abraham’s actions were a result of his faith in God and the knowledge that God would continue to provide for him.