“Father of a Bitter Son” – Luke 15:25-32

In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul writes, “Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you (Ephesians 4:30-32).

It doesn’t take long when we read today’s text to realize that the elder brother was someone who was filled with bitterness, rage and anger. We see it in his actions and hear it in his words.

As the parable as told us of God’s wondrous love toward the wayward younger son, we also see His love in the way the father in the parable responded to the elder, bitter brother.

Background

The Pharisee movement grew out of the Babylonian exile. The exiles had listened to the prophets warn against the consequences of ignoring God’s law, and the movement grew that was dedicated to following the laws of God as given to Moses. These men and women committed themselves to fulfilling the laws and dedicated themselves to upholding the law.

Having experienced God’s judgment firsthand, when the exiled returned to Jerusalem, they determined that they would never let Israel make that mistake again. Toward that end, the Pharisees not only dedicated themselves to following the laws, they also saw it as their duty to ensure others obeyed the laws as well.

As the movement aged and grew in influence, they began to lose sight of a relationship with God. They were so focused on the book of rules that God had given them that they forgot the author of the laws Himself. As a result, their faith walk became a cold set of rules and regulations. Love for God slowly turned into anger and rage at those who would endanger themselves and their society by ignoring or flaunting the laws.

Hence the opposition to Jesus. They saw in Him someone who dismissed the laws, at least the way the Pharisees understood them. Jesus was a threat to a way of life that would ultimately result in God’s judgment coming again to His people.

It was this mindset that Jesus fought against and warned against. It was to these people that Jesus told the three parables, and it was to them specifically that Jesus included the elder brother in the parable.

When we see the father in this parable in his relationship with his elder son, we see a father that wants to restore not only the relationship between the two brothers but the relationship between the father and elder son.

Central Truth: As our Father, God seeks reconciliation.

God wants reconciliation:

1. because our bitterness divides us (25-28a)

“Meanwhile, the older brother was in the field. When he came near the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the servants and asked him what was going on. ‘Your brother has come,’ he replied, ‘and your father has killed the fatted calf because he has back safe and sound.’ The older brother became angry, and refused to go in.”

The bitterness, rage and anger that Paul had written about and that is demonstrated in the elder son leads to a life of resentment and narrow focus. By the time the younger son returns, the elder son has built up an anger and resentment toward his father and brother that spills out in his angry diatribe against his father. In these words, we see a son who is using his brother’s return to express his anger and bitterness toward his father. Look at the acts of the elder son.

We first see him as someone who is out in the field, presumably working. That would seem to be a noble thing. The elder son is a man of responsibility and a good work ethic. He may take pride in the work that he does, and it may be that he feels underappreciated at best. He works hard, never complains and never has to be asked or told twice to do something.

He came in from the field and he hears music and dancing coming from the house. Figuring how long it would have taken to prepare the meal, the likelihood is that the celebration is in the early part of the evening. As far as the son can tell, there is no reason for such a celebration, so he calls out to one of the servants to learn what’s going on.

The servant’s words were matter-of-fact and to the point. The celebration was for the younger son’s return. And it isn’t hard to imagine the dark cloud coming over the elder son’s face when he heard the words.

We don’t know what kind of relationship the two brothers had before the younger left home. There may have been a long-standing sibling rivalry that may have contributed to the younger son’s departure. All we know for sure is that hearing of the reason for the celebration caused the elder brother to lose his temper. The Bible says he became angry and refused to go into the house.

It would be easy to conjecture at what caused such anger. Did he see it as just another example of the younger brother getting away once again with something he should have suffered from? We can’t really say. All we know is that the elder brother was not happy about his brother’s return, and he expressed his displeasure by refusing to welcome him back home.

By his actions, the elder son shows us that bitterness only leads to division, an “us against them” mentality that destroys any hope of reconciliation.

2. with Him (28b)

“So his father went out and pleaded with him.”

Pride can be a destructive thing. When our pride is wounded, we withdraw from others. When our pride is challenged, we tend to dig in our heels, refusing to budge an inch. Pride leads us to believe that we are always in the right, to compromise is to throw away what we know is right. Our pride causes us to build walls against those who challenge us or hurt us. It’s no surprise that the Bible tells us pride goes before a fall (cf. Proverbs 16:18; 29:23; Isaiah 25:11).

When the elder son refused to go into the house and celebrate his brother’s return, the father could have stood on his pride and insist that his son has every right to refuse to enter the house. In fact, if the son is so reluctant to enter the house, then the father could have easily told the son to never enter his house again unless and until he is ready to swallow his own pride and seek his father’s forgiveness. Pride on the part of both the father and the son could have destroyed the family just as it was getting back together.

Because the father in this parable represents God and His relationship to us, it should come as no surprise that the father readily went out to the son who sulked and burned with anger outside. It is God who reaches out to us, who willingly sent His Son to die for us. As John tells us, “This is how God showed His love among us: He sent His one and only Son into the world that we might live through Him. This is love: not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins” (1 John 4:9-10).

The father went out to his son because he loved his son. He may have been able to understand what the elder son was thinking and feeling. He may have understood why the elder son was so resentful and angry, so bitter.

But the father also understood that his elder son’s anger was unjustified toward the younger brother. After all, the younger brother had not harmed his older brother, at least as far as we can tell in the parable. Any wrongs done were toward the father. The elder son may have felt anger toward his brother for what the younger son had done to the father, but the reality is that a wrong done my parent or sibling or friend is not a wrong done to me. Nowhere does the Bible tell us that we should take up a wrong done to another.

The father went out to the son. He didn’t have to, but he went because he loved his son so much that he was willing to come to him on his terms and listen and ask him to come in.

The father wanted reconciliation with his son. God wants reconciliation between us and Him.

3. between people (17-24)

“But he answered his father, ‘Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you, and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goats o I could celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fatted calf for him!’ ‘My son,’ said the father, ‘you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’”

When we are seeking to bring reconciliation between ourselves and others, we will often have to first let that person express his or her grievances or complaints. We may have to listen to angry accusations, bitter words spat at us from a troubled heart in turmoil. But reconciliation can only come once we have let the other have their say.

he speaks, it becomes clear that the elder son’s anger and resent has nothing to do with his brother. It has to do with his relationship to his father. Listen to the words the elder son uses.

The son uses the phrases, “slaving for you,” “never disobeyed your orders” and “yet you never gave me.” The son pours out his complaints about his father, because the son completely misunderstands his relationship to his father. We don’t know how long he let his anger and resentment fester, but the events around the younger brother’s return has opened the floodgates, and the elder son lets his father have it with both barrels.

It is clear from his words that he doesn’t believe his father loves him. The son seems to be living his life with the assumption that he had to earn his father’s approval and love. “I slaved for you” tells us that the things the son did for his father were not acts of love but were seen as chores that had to be done to make dad happy. “I never disobeyed your orders” sees his father as a thankless boss, a master demanding absolute obedience without question. “You never gave me anything” suggests that the son believed he had never been appreciated for what he brought to the family business.

Finally, the elder brother referred to his brother as, “this son of yours.” The elder son does not recognize a familial relationship between himself and his father or his brother. Granted, sometimes we use these terms when we speak of our children. When the kids would do something wrong, they suddenly became “my children.” When they did good, they were Kim’s children. You probably did the same thing.

In this instance, though, the son is telling his father that he does not recognize the younger son as a brother, and by extension, does not recognize his father.

The father listened to this with love and compassion. He understood that his son was angry and that the son needed to vent. He probably thought in his heart that the son didn’t really mean the words, even though they were said with force.

Once the elder son had had his say, the father answers the angry words with loving words. He begins with, “My son,” letting his elder son know that the father always saw him as a son. “You are always with me, and everything I have is yours.” The father is telling his son that he probably never received a goat because the son never thought to ask.

These words are a rebuke to each one of us when we believe that we are not worthy of God’s love or that we are unwilling or unbelieving to ask God for the things He offers us. Just like the father with his elder son, so God reminds us that we are always His children and that everything He has is ours. All we have to do is ask, and we will receive (cf. Matthew 7:7-11; Luke 11:9-13). I have a friend who doesn’t like the song, “Showers of Blessings,” because he believes it misrepresents all that is available to us from our loving Father. We think of mercy drops when God is pouring out His blessings.

Finally, the father reminds the elder son that there is a need to reconcile with his brother. He reminds him that the returned son is “this brother of yours.” They had to celebrate because the family is whole again.

Conclusion

We need to learn the lesson from the elder son and from the father’s response.

We can let our bitterness keep us from enjoying good fellowship with our heavenly Father and with our brothers and sisters in Christ. We can let anger and resentment get the better of us. We can feel these feelings, but know that we grieve the Holy Spirit when we do so.

Because God is a God of reconciliation, let us get rid of any bitterness, rage and anger, and let us instead be kind to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave us.