“Seeing Beyond Troubles” – “Living in Submission—Part 3” – 1 Peter 3:1-7

In society, there are three institutions that are vital to its ability to function.

There must be a government in order to provide for the general welfare of the people and common defense and establish justice while insuring domestic tranquility. These ideals are stated in the preamble of the United States Constitution, and they are the cornerstone of good government.

Along with a government, there must be an economic system. This economic system provides for the adequate distribution of goods while allowing workers to earn a living and investors to gain a return on their investments. There are numerous types of economic systems, some better and some worse, but almost every society has some form of economic system.

Then there must be the family. The family exists in part to ensure society continues through the birth and nurturing of future generations. The family imparts core values to its members, values that can shape both government and the economy.

Peter in writing this letter has already told that God wants us to be submissive to the government and to those in charge of the economy. Living in a free society, it can be difficult at times to be submissive, but God knew the type of government—a dictatorship under Nero—and the system of economy—slavery—that Peter’s listeners lived in.

Having address the need to submit to the first two pillars of society, Peter then wrote to the most intimate and concrete pillar—the family. Specifically, Peter wrote about the relationship between the husband and wife.

Background

When we hear the word, “submit,” it generally connotes a negative feeling. To be submissive suggests surrender and an admission of weakness. Such an attitude is inconsistent with most people, particularly those who have been raised in a white society in America. People of color, women and others have had to live a submissive life for most of our country’s history. Only recently have these groups begun to be raised up more to a life of equality and potential.

This is not what the Bible means by submission. In order for us to come to salvation, there must be a recognition of our inability to lift ourselves up by our own bootstraps into God’s presence. The salvation experience includes our recognition that we are indebted to God through Christ and that we have faith that God’s way is the only way and that His words are always valid. We surrender our will to His will. This is submission. It is the recognition that God has a better plan, not just for my life as a person, but for our world as a whole. Part of our role in God’s world, then, is to acknowledge His will and to trust in Him, even when His will seems to contradict everything we know and believe. If God tells us to submit to various parts of our society—politically, economically—we trust Him to show us how to do it in a Christ-like way. The same is true in the family.

Just as God inspired Peter to write about the roles of the wife and husband in the family, so God inspired Paul to write similar advice in the apostle’s letter to the Ephesians. In Ephesians 5:22-24, Paul wrote, “Wives, submit to your husband as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”

Paul then went on to tell the husbands how we are required to relate to our wives: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her, to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself” (Ephesians 5:24-28).

In this passage, God makes it clear that the relationship between wives and husbands is not dictated by the norms of society, but by the influence of Christ in both the husband and the wife. The wife is called to do what society demanded she had to do, but now for a new reason and for an enlightened attitude. The husband is to give himself to his wife just as Christ gave Himself to the church.

And the significance of all this is the verse that precedes Paul’s instructions: “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ” (Ephesians 5:21). Just as the Spirit works in us to transform us and to cause us to “will and to act according to His good purpose” (cf. Philippians 2:13), so we are called to give ourselves first to Christ and then to one another.

Central Truth: God wants the home to be a place of respect.

God wants respect from:

1. The wife (1-6)

a. In her submission (1-2)

Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.

I knew a woman in our church in Cincinnati that was committed to Christ but her husband was not. She was listening to a conversation I was having with the youth. The youth were saying that a Christian could marry a non-Christian and be an influence on the non-Christian. I told them that it was unlikely. The woman decided she needed to speak up. She told them that she believed that when she decided to marry. Up to that time, her husband still wasn’t interested in knowing Christ.

I thought of this when I read these two verses. While Paul seemed to be referring to a Christian family, Peter is speaking to women who have a non-believing husband. His reason for submission is to be an example to the husband of what it means to be a Christian. Remembering that a woman’s submission in the Roman and Jewish worlds was required anyway, Peter reminds them that their submission becomes voluntary, not mandatory, and the reason for the submission is to be a witness for Christ.

Peter’s thinking mirrors what he wrote earlier in 2:11-12, and he repeats the idea in the teachings of submission to the government and to the employer. In every instance, Peter is saying the reason we submit is that we are submitting to Christ first and living our lives in such a way that others will see Christ living in us.

For this reason, ladies, be submissive wives. Submission does not mean to keep your opinion to yourselves, nor does it mean you are weak or uninformed. It does mean that you put your trust in God and allow your husband to make the final decisions. We’ll get into the husband’s duties in regard to these decisions shortly.

b. In her life “gentle and quiet spirit” (3-6)

Your beauty should not be come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not five way to fear.

One of the most frustrating things in my mind is when people only see two options. Either you choose “A” or you choose “B.” There is no both/and, only either/or. These verses are not either/or, but both/and.

Someone reading these verses may think Peter is telling women to ignore their outer beauty, but that’s not the case. He was addressing a problem in his world, which was that women had come to believe that the outer woman was really all that mattered, and as such spent a great deal of time and money on fashion and appearances. Whether or not Peter thought it was too much or not, his emphasis here is that true beauty comes from within, not from the outside.

The focus of these verses is for the wives and women to spend more time in spiritual growth and awareness, and to let that spiritual growth be evident in the way they lived their lives. Such a life builds on the peace that comes from God through Christ as the Holy Spirit transforms us into a holy vessel. Being at peace with God, walking in faith in Him, allows the woman (and men, too) to let worries and fears fall aside, creating instead a gentle and quiet spirit. This is pleasing to God.

It is also reflected in the lives of the women we read about in the Old Testament. It was this gentle and quiet spirit that is seen in the women like Sarah, Elizabeth, Rachel and many other women we can read about.

The last statement in v. 6 is important, for it summarizes Peter’s idea in these verses: Do what is right and do not give way to fear. Trust in the Lord and let Him direct your path. In so doing, your true beauty shines forth.

2. The husband (7-8)

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

When Paul wrote his instructions to husbands and wives, the majority of the verses were directed at the husband. Not so with Peter. He spent six verses on the role of the wife and only one verse on the husband’s role. And yet, in this one verse, there is a great deal of information. In this verse, he mentions two things for the husband to do and adds the reason why he should do them.

First, the command is to be considerate toward the wife. To be considerate is to take into account your wife’s thoughts and feelings in decision-making. Take the time to listen to her and hear what she has to say. Listen to her when she tells you the things she likes and doesn’t like. Be mindful that this woman you married is the woman you loved when you proposed to her and she is the woman you have grown to love more deeply as you have lived with her. Just as she has been called to bend her life to match yours, so should the considerate husband bend to match his wife’s. Be considerate as you live with your wife.

Second, treat your wife with respect. Coupled with respect is Christ-like love. These two go hand-in-hand, and it must be made evident in actions and words. The term “weaker partner” should not be construed to mean that she is feeble or incapable, merely that in her role as submissive she is still the partner in this endeavor of your lives together. She has as much a stake in matters as do us husbands. Not only is she the partner, she is also heirs with us in God’s gift of life in Him.

These two things—consideration and respect—have a bearing on the husband’s prayer life. Husband, if your prayer life is lagging, consider how you’re treating your wife. God hears the prayers of the weak and neglected. He listens to the prayers of those who are crying out in need. If we would have an effective prayer life, we must also be considerate and respectful to our wives.

As a side note, when husbands hear that the wife is to be submissive and the husband is therefore the leader of the family, we would do well to remember what Jesus taught about leadership. Having washed the disciples feet, Jesus had their full attention and He told them, “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another’s feet” (John 13:14). Jesus’ example of being leader is to serve. He taught that he would be first must be last, and that He had come to serve. Jesus’ call to leadership is a call to service and surrender.

Conclusion

Of the three areas that Peter addressed in these three areas of submission—the government, the workplace and the family—there is none more important than the family. Regardless of what the government does or what goes on at work, the family is always there. God wants our families to reflect His love into our society. Toward that end, we are called to be submissive, to be considerate and respectful and to allow the inner beauty of a quiet and gentle spirit to be evident in our lives each day.